There are so many changes during divorce that it’s hard to keep up with everything, from your day-to-day grind to your retirement fund. But there’s one change that can really hit home (literally), and that’s a change of address. The paperwork is scary enough – making sure you don’t miss anything in all the details. But once that’s done, how do you survive your divorce moving day?
Divorce Moving Day
Although it can be overwhelming, there are things you can do to press on without petering out. Here are a few suggestions during your divorce to help you get through moving day, which doesn’t have to be all bad. After all, it’s the first day in your fresh start. 1. Packing: It’s inevitable, after the lines have been drawn and your joint belongings split, that you’re going to be left with knickknacks and whatnots that do nothing but bring back memories- some bad and maybe even some good. When you’re packing, have a box dedicated for these things and set them aside because when you move to your new place you want it to feel new, your fresh start. Reminiscing while unpacking simply won’t do. Pack up these memories, tape up the box tight and label it “THE PAST”. There’s nothing that says you have to decide what to do with these items now. You can do that in the future, when you decide you’re ready. 2. The final look: The movers have come. The furniture is gone. The boxes are in the truck. You need to have your moment with your house. It’s closure, whatever that means for you – a good cry, a goodbye, or good riddance. Do one, or all three, then lock the door and keep going. 3. The drive away: Moving is sometimes hardest because of who you are moving away from, not what you’re moving out of. Don’t forget to reach out to your neighbors and friends and let them know where to find you. They were your support network while you lived nearby, and they still will be. Don’t let proximity, or lack thereof, keep you from them, especially in a time like this. 4. The new place: It’s not what you imagined. Maybe it’s not the right size or the right part of town or the right color. But, for the time being it’s yours. You may have to look for things to love at first. Maybe it’s the big oak at the corner, or the fact you can walk to the donut shop. Maybe it’s that the living room gets the light from the setting sun or the bathroom lock actually works (unlike your old place). Whatever it is, focus on that until your heart officially moves in with you. 5. Unpacking: First and foremost, stay away from “THE PAST.” There will always be time to reflect on that later, but right now is about your future. Next, enlist help. Remember those friends? Have them by your side or join a divorce care group. Don’t feel guilty when you have them reposition your couch five times before you feel like it’s right. It needs to be right. This is your new home, your fresh start. 6. The first night: Not all the boxes will be empty. The pictures may not be hung. No matter what, sit down, take a deep breath and give yourself some accolades. You’ve made it, and tomorrow you’ll make it some more. Remind yourself moving on and moving up is synonymous.