Getting divorced starts when you or your spouse begins to consider the option. This escalates when the two of you start talking about it together. Ideally, this will happen amicably and you’ll both just discuss your options, but it may not go quite that smoothly.
Regardless, the two of you are eventually going to reach a point where you need to talk to your children about the divorce. How should you do this? What can you do to make it easy for them? Here are a few helpful tips.
Be sure that you’re really getting a divorce
First of all, never start this conversation too early. You don’t want to put the children through a rollercoaster of thinking that divorce is coming, then it isn’t, then they don’t know what’s happening. You owe it to them to wait until you’re absolutely sure so you can give them concrete details that will define the situation for them.
Talk to them together
Another important thing is that you and your spouse are on the same page about this conversation. You should plan it for the same time and talk to the kids together. This helps them in numerous ways. For one thing, it shows that both of you are still there for the children. Remember that this is something they’re going to be very concerned about, so that united front is important. You’re still their parents, whether or not you’re married.
Answer questions and give them time to talk
Finally, make sure this isn’t a one-sided conversation where you’re just giving them information and expecting them to accept it and move on with their day. They’re going to have questions. They’re going to have concerns. They’re going to want to talk through it. You want to make sure that you give them time to do that. As such, only plan this conversation for a part of the day when you can talk for as long as needed.
Taking the next steps
After you talk to your children about the divorce, you and your spouse are going to need to take the next steps to get this process underway. Be sure that you are well aware of your legal rights and all of the options at your disposal.